I've moved. I finally got Lu on board to do some family blogging. Woohoo! Come follow us- trust me, he's much more interesting than I am!! :)
www.mynandluplustwo.blogspot.com
Monday, August 30, 2010
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Birth Story According to Luis
This wasn't something he just decided to write; he's not that guy. Well, he kind of is. He wrote a few words documenting the day because of it's impact on him, but he didn't set out to write a "birth story". He was falling behind in his online English lit class, so this is extra credit. There are a few cheesy references to a couple of female authors- that's just fluff for his grade, haha. I think you can still get the gist of his emotions and his feelings about the birth. Enjoy, and please let me know what you think.
Every year a few elite climbers grace the top of Mount Everest. These climbers studied the terrain, prepared themselves physically as well as mentally for one of the most challenging feats of their lives. Do most people understand why a person would risk their life just to stand on top of a mountain? No way! Most would fall in line with the mentality that the view is the same whether you get there by helicopter or by foot. Why go through the pain, the cold, and all else that comes along with it? Only the climber and a few people who understand the climber ever truly know.On May 9th, 2010, my wife, Myndee, climbed a mountain of her own. Everest? No, but just as much training and dedication went into the preparation of her accomplishment. My wife gave birth to our second child completely natural and medication free!
As I read some the writings of Grace King and Kate Chopin I started to see my wife as a woman of great determination by wanting to take control of her body and delivery experience. I of course don’t feel that having a birth med free is as monumental as woman’s liberation as a whole, but I do feel that it has its roots in the same fight these historic women were in. As my wife and I discussed having children we were in mindset of having the doctor come to our house to give her drugs. However, as the birth of our children went from fantasy to reality my wife’s planning mode kicked in. During this planning and learning process she discovered that modern women have almost forgotten how to give birth. She realized that many hospitals viewed labor as a medical event, instead of a natural process. She learned that one of the main problems was that a lot women are for the most part uninformed when it comes to childbirth. And it was this uninformed state which caused them to put all of their decisions about the birth of their child into the hands of another. The problem is that often times, the more interventions there are, the more there is a need for interventions. It's difficult in this day and age to go against the grain of the medical professionals.
My wife has been met with such opposition due to the choice to have our children naturally. The strange thing is that she isn’t over the top hippie, she just wanted to experience a natural part of life without drugs, but people acted as if she was going to have the baby in the dessert alone. They made comments that implied that she would be helpless and beg for the doctors to intervene. Just as the girl in Grace King’s Little Convent Girl, my wife took a plunge into what many believe to be the dark unforgiving river of labor. Just as the girl in the story, even though many didn’t agree and it would seem alien to others, she took control of her life.
A year and a half earlier my wife gave birth to our first child. It was a beautiful experience. Our child was healthy, and we were so overjoyed with being parents for the first time. But something was amiss. Even though my wife labored from 6am to 10pm without an epidural, 30 minutes before the birth she couldn’t deal with the pain and received the epidural. She felt defeated. I didn’t understand what the big deal was; to me healthy baby trumped med free baby, and after insensitively stating this to my wife I learned that a healthy baby was her ultimate goal as well, but she wanted to experience birth naturally. She couldn’t believe that she was so close to accomplishing her goal and gave up in the last few minutes. She swore that the next time she would fight it out to the end.
My wife isn’t an adrenaline junky, and she isn’t very competitive, so it was unlike for her to be so gung ho about delivering med free. Although she researched for our first, the sense of failure that lingered afterward kicked her research into warp speed. She read everything she could on the subject, spoke to anyone who had experience, practiced relaxation techniques, and prepared herself mind, body, and soul for the mountain that lay in front of her.
The day had arrived! Contractions started around 9pm on the 8th. Myndee stayed cool and collected through these contractions, and once we realized this was it, she calmly had me call our babysitter and doula and make all the arrangements for us to go to the hospital. At about 2:30am, contractions were in high gear, so she took a bath to help her relax and cope with the pain. When 4am rolled around, we headed to the hospital.
After arriving at the hospital, Myndee stayed focused on her goal. Doctors and nurses were prepped with birthing plans, and she made it clear that no arbitrary procedures were going to be done without first explaining the necessity. There was one nurse who resisted at first, probably because patients don’t normally question them, but soon left us alone.
Contractions began to get much more intense a couple hours after arriving at the hospital. Myndee refused to be on constant monitoring so she was free to labor in the shower, standing, sitting, or however she felt like dealing with the pain. I knew the pain was bad, but I wasn’t sure how far into it we were because she was doing such a good job dealing with the pain. I was shocked when the doctor said that after a few more contractions she would probably be ready to push. I won’t lie, the last few contractions seemed like they were unbearable; she shouted some obscenities and had a few “what did I do?” moments, but one of the last contractions before she pushed she didn’t make a sound. She focused and relaxed through the pain…it was as though she were asleep.
When the pushing started, I did the best I could to be encouraging and keeping her focused on me. But I was also able to step back and take in the entire room as an outsider. I noticed that everyone in there, including her doctor, was calm and completely believed that my wife could have a med free birth. The research was necessary to prepare her, but the support system that she had in place was pivotal in helping her reach her goal.
Finally, with two big pushes our new baby entered the world. At that moment it was clear to me, I had been supportive but wasn’t 100% on board. Now I knew why she did it. I finally understood why she endured a pain that most choose to bypass. She wanted to experience child birth for all it was. And she did.
I am not a sappy father who thinks that all that is natural is beautiful. I don’t recycle much, I eat processed foods, and I don’t care how big my carbon footprint is. But this experience was beautiful almost beyond words. I have a new level of respect for my wife for setting her mind to such a goal and reaching its peak. I respect her for doing all she could to make sure our child was healthy. I thank her for opening my eyes to how beautiful child birth can be when done naturally. It’s difficult as a man to encourage women to remember how to give birth naturally; no I haven’t done it and never could, but I would encourage you to try. Your body and your baby know how to do it.
My wife astonished me with her dedication and drive on May 9th. She wasn’t the first nor the last to do it but that doesn’t change the fact that she tackled one of the most difficult things known to (wo)man.
Every year a few elite climbers grace the top of Mount Everest. These climbers studied the terrain, prepared themselves physically as well as mentally for one of the most challenging feats of their lives. Do most people understand why a person would risk their life just to stand on top of a mountain? No way! Most would fall in line with the mentality that the view is the same whether you get there by helicopter or by foot. Why go through the pain, the cold, and all else that comes along with it? Only the climber and a few people who understand the climber ever truly know.On May 9th, 2010, my wife, Myndee, climbed a mountain of her own. Everest? No, but just as much training and dedication went into the preparation of her accomplishment. My wife gave birth to our second child completely natural and medication free!
As I read some the writings of Grace King and Kate Chopin I started to see my wife as a woman of great determination by wanting to take control of her body and delivery experience. I of course don’t feel that having a birth med free is as monumental as woman’s liberation as a whole, but I do feel that it has its roots in the same fight these historic women were in. As my wife and I discussed having children we were in mindset of having the doctor come to our house to give her drugs. However, as the birth of our children went from fantasy to reality my wife’s planning mode kicked in. During this planning and learning process she discovered that modern women have almost forgotten how to give birth. She realized that many hospitals viewed labor as a medical event, instead of a natural process. She learned that one of the main problems was that a lot women are for the most part uninformed when it comes to childbirth. And it was this uninformed state which caused them to put all of their decisions about the birth of their child into the hands of another. The problem is that often times, the more interventions there are, the more there is a need for interventions. It's difficult in this day and age to go against the grain of the medical professionals.
My wife has been met with such opposition due to the choice to have our children naturally. The strange thing is that she isn’t over the top hippie, she just wanted to experience a natural part of life without drugs, but people acted as if she was going to have the baby in the dessert alone. They made comments that implied that she would be helpless and beg for the doctors to intervene. Just as the girl in Grace King’s Little Convent Girl, my wife took a plunge into what many believe to be the dark unforgiving river of labor. Just as the girl in the story, even though many didn’t agree and it would seem alien to others, she took control of her life.
A year and a half earlier my wife gave birth to our first child. It was a beautiful experience. Our child was healthy, and we were so overjoyed with being parents for the first time. But something was amiss. Even though my wife labored from 6am to 10pm without an epidural, 30 minutes before the birth she couldn’t deal with the pain and received the epidural. She felt defeated. I didn’t understand what the big deal was; to me healthy baby trumped med free baby, and after insensitively stating this to my wife I learned that a healthy baby was her ultimate goal as well, but she wanted to experience birth naturally. She couldn’t believe that she was so close to accomplishing her goal and gave up in the last few minutes. She swore that the next time she would fight it out to the end.
My wife isn’t an adrenaline junky, and she isn’t very competitive, so it was unlike for her to be so gung ho about delivering med free. Although she researched for our first, the sense of failure that lingered afterward kicked her research into warp speed. She read everything she could on the subject, spoke to anyone who had experience, practiced relaxation techniques, and prepared herself mind, body, and soul for the mountain that lay in front of her.
The day had arrived! Contractions started around 9pm on the 8th. Myndee stayed cool and collected through these contractions, and once we realized this was it, she calmly had me call our babysitter and doula and make all the arrangements for us to go to the hospital. At about 2:30am, contractions were in high gear, so she took a bath to help her relax and cope with the pain. When 4am rolled around, we headed to the hospital.
After arriving at the hospital, Myndee stayed focused on her goal. Doctors and nurses were prepped with birthing plans, and she made it clear that no arbitrary procedures were going to be done without first explaining the necessity. There was one nurse who resisted at first, probably because patients don’t normally question them, but soon left us alone.
Contractions began to get much more intense a couple hours after arriving at the hospital. Myndee refused to be on constant monitoring so she was free to labor in the shower, standing, sitting, or however she felt like dealing with the pain. I knew the pain was bad, but I wasn’t sure how far into it we were because she was doing such a good job dealing with the pain. I was shocked when the doctor said that after a few more contractions she would probably be ready to push. I won’t lie, the last few contractions seemed like they were unbearable; she shouted some obscenities and had a few “what did I do?” moments, but one of the last contractions before she pushed she didn’t make a sound. She focused and relaxed through the pain…it was as though she were asleep.
When the pushing started, I did the best I could to be encouraging and keeping her focused on me. But I was also able to step back and take in the entire room as an outsider. I noticed that everyone in there, including her doctor, was calm and completely believed that my wife could have a med free birth. The research was necessary to prepare her, but the support system that she had in place was pivotal in helping her reach her goal.
Finally, with two big pushes our new baby entered the world. At that moment it was clear to me, I had been supportive but wasn’t 100% on board. Now I knew why she did it. I finally understood why she endured a pain that most choose to bypass. She wanted to experience child birth for all it was. And she did.
I am not a sappy father who thinks that all that is natural is beautiful. I don’t recycle much, I eat processed foods, and I don’t care how big my carbon footprint is. But this experience was beautiful almost beyond words. I have a new level of respect for my wife for setting her mind to such a goal and reaching its peak. I respect her for doing all she could to make sure our child was healthy. I thank her for opening my eyes to how beautiful child birth can be when done naturally. It’s difficult as a man to encourage women to remember how to give birth naturally; no I haven’t done it and never could, but I would encourage you to try. Your body and your baby know how to do it.
My wife astonished me with her dedication and drive on May 9th. She wasn’t the first nor the last to do it but that doesn’t change the fact that she tackled one of the most difficult things known to (wo)man.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Dear Gavin
Dear Gavin,
You, my son, mean the world to me. I am writing you on my blog because sadly, I have yet to get a journal to write you the way I have for your sister. Part of the delay is lack of time- even now, you're sleeping on me. Another reason I haven't written you yet is because I don't know if a boy will want to read love letters from his Mommy. I've decided that's too bad. If you get all embarrassed, then you can stop reading them. I'm hoping that you'll appreciate them one day though.
Your arrival has completed our family (unless God has other plans). You've also turned our world upside down, in a good way. You are the polar opposite of Kadence, so we've had to re-learn how to parent a newborn. One thing you guys have in common is how content you both are. I know some people complain how their kids just cry for no reason, for hours on end, but you rarely do that. You only really cry when you are hungry or overly tired. I'm so thankful to have happy babies.
You are so big!! You are barely 2 months old wearing 3-6 month clothing! Every time I do laundry, I find something else of yours that is too small. I had no idea I would end up with a big baby. You are getting cuter and cuter each day. It's so fun to watch you smile...I finally caught a smile on camera the other day...that was nearly an impossible task.
Gavin, I had no idea how happy I would be to have a son. To be honest, I felt a little scared of having a boy, but God knew I would be able to handle it. I am so thankful for you. You are my little man, my buddy, and I am looking forward to watching you grow and learn. Thank you for being my son.
Love,
Mommy
You, my son, mean the world to me. I am writing you on my blog because sadly, I have yet to get a journal to write you the way I have for your sister. Part of the delay is lack of time- even now, you're sleeping on me. Another reason I haven't written you yet is because I don't know if a boy will want to read love letters from his Mommy. I've decided that's too bad. If you get all embarrassed, then you can stop reading them. I'm hoping that you'll appreciate them one day though.
Your arrival has completed our family (unless God has other plans). You've also turned our world upside down, in a good way. You are the polar opposite of Kadence, so we've had to re-learn how to parent a newborn. One thing you guys have in common is how content you both are. I know some people complain how their kids just cry for no reason, for hours on end, but you rarely do that. You only really cry when you are hungry or overly tired. I'm so thankful to have happy babies.
You are so big!! You are barely 2 months old wearing 3-6 month clothing! Every time I do laundry, I find something else of yours that is too small. I had no idea I would end up with a big baby. You are getting cuter and cuter each day. It's so fun to watch you smile...I finally caught a smile on camera the other day...that was nearly an impossible task.
Gavin, I had no idea how happy I would be to have a son. To be honest, I felt a little scared of having a boy, but God knew I would be able to handle it. I am so thankful for you. You are my little man, my buddy, and I am looking forward to watching you grow and learn. Thank you for being my son.
Love,
Mommy
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Harder than I imagined...but wonderful
I love that our family feels complete now. I love having a SON. I love that Kadence is a big sister. I love our life. However, I am beat. I am only on here because Gavin is asleep and my grandma is over entertaining Kadence so I could have a few minutes to myself. I imagine Gavin will wake up any minute and I'll have to cut this short. We have good days and bad days here. It's hard not to meet your child's needs immediately. Sometimes, I'm changing Kadence when Gavin needs me. Often, I'm feeding Gavin when K needs/wants me. It's hard to find a balance. I think we're managing though.
Kadence has had the worst month of all of us. She's had an ear infection, a virus, she fell and busted her mouth TWICE in the past two weeks. She's also adjusting to being a big sister and having someone new live in our house. I know she'll be fine, but I really feel for her. Aside from right now, every time Gavin is asleep I am engaging her and trying to play with her. It's hard because we're stuck in this little house. It's so hot outside, and I am still too scared to go out alone with 2u2 (that's "two under two"). She's really been a trooper though. I love her so much.
Okay, so this is just a quick compilation of my thoughts. I am going to get back to reality now. :)
Kadence has had the worst month of all of us. She's had an ear infection, a virus, she fell and busted her mouth TWICE in the past two weeks. She's also adjusting to being a big sister and having someone new live in our house. I know she'll be fine, but I really feel for her. Aside from right now, every time Gavin is asleep I am engaging her and trying to play with her. It's hard because we're stuck in this little house. It's so hot outside, and I am still too scared to go out alone with 2u2 (that's "two under two"). She's really been a trooper though. I love her so much.
Okay, so this is just a quick compilation of my thoughts. I am going to get back to reality now. :)
Saturday, May 15, 2010
I will get a dance at a wedding!!
Yes, that was one of the first things I thought upon learning that I had a son. At weddings, they typically have a father/daughter and mother/son dance, and I was excited to learn that I would get a dance! During pregnancy, I thought deep down it was a boy, but I really had no idea. Truth be told, I was terrified of having a boy (I still am a little). I am a girl, I have a girl, I know girls, I have girl parts; I don't know the slightest thing about raising a boy. Even though I have a brother, he's older than me, so it isn't like I watched him grow up the way I did my little sister. I mean, boys like bugs- bugs creep me out. Boys like to do tricks on bikes and get hurt- I'm a worry wart. Boys aren't emotional- I'm still crying from the video slideshow of Kadence I just watched. Thankfully, my husband is a boy, and he will help me figure out what to do when Gavin starts acting more like a boy. Actually, he already does. He eats more than Kadence did, and man, he's ravenous. Let's just say I'm having breastfeeding troubles like I never did with K. Also, he poops more, which I can pretty much guarantee is a "boy thing", at least in this house. While I'm a little scared about raising a boy, I am also more excited than I ever thought I could be. I just love looking at my little man. I love seeing Kadence interact with her "baby butter". I love knowing that someday, he's going to fall in love and get married, and I'll get a dance. I love having a SON!!
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
No more false labor!!! Baby is HERE!!
Saturday, May 8, 2010. I was miserable. I was so thankful to be pregnant with a healthy baby, please don’t get me wrong. However, I was coming off an extremely stressful work week, two rounds of “false labor”, one which sent me to the hospital. I was just a wreck. I had been trying all the old wives tales to start labor, but my efforts were futile. I know that though. I know babies don’t come until they’re ready, yet when I found myself the most pregnant I’d ever been (Kadence was born at 37w1d, and here I sat at 38w5d), I was willing to try almost anything to get this baby out. My good friend, Ashley, was in the same situation, only about a week farther along than I was. I read online about “labor cookies” and learned they were basically gingerbread cookies with cayenne pepper added to them. I knew Ashley liked gingerbread cookies, so I called her to invite her to have labor cookies with me that evening. We cheated though. The actual “labor cookies” required countless ingredients and time and work. Not happening. So, we got premade gingerbread cookie mix and added the cayenne. They were actually pretty good. A little too spicy for cookies, in my opinion, but Ashley loved them and has decided that’s how gingerbread cookies should be made all the time!
About 45 minutes after eating my third….or fourth cookie, I felt a real contraction. We just laughed it off claiming the labor cookies were working. Then, I had a couple more over the next hour. I knew they were different, but they were so far apart. I figured maybe the spicy cookies were upsetting my stomach or something. Around 11:30pm though, I started to wonder…could this be it? Luis’ “nesting” instinct kicked in and he started cleaning the house and getting everything ready to go. I hung out in denial for a little while longer, blogging and watching “Couples Retreat”. The contractions were definitely real, and coming about 20 minutes apart. I just couldn’t believe I was potentially going into labor. I told Luis we should sleep, just in case. Yea, that didn’t work out. Luis was too excited, and my contractions were coming closer to 10 minutes apart. They stayed that way for a while, I think. I was only occasionally timing them. I was starting to believe this could be it, but I was hesitant to call our sitter or doula, since I had already disrupted their lives for nothing earlier that week. At around 3:45am though, I told Luis, “This is real”. I called the doula, Chrys, and he called our babysitter. I told the doula I planned to head to the hospital around 6:00am. I didn’t know if it were too early, but I was already dilated 3cm and had read one too many “we JUST made it in time” stories. I figured I’d rather be at the hospital too soon than have the baby in the car. I asked Luis to start a bath for me so I could see if that would help with the contractions. Oh my goodness, did it ever! I had a couple contractions in the tub, and while I felt them of course, they were so much more bearable than the ones I had been having. It was so nice and relaxing to just sit there, too. After about 30 minutes, I was ready to get out though. From the time it took me to get out of the tub and towel off (less than 10 minutes), I had three contractions. Thankfully, our babysitter had arrived because I told Luis we were leaving now. We get down the street and I had him turn around because I forgot my makeup bag. Yup, I’m vain.
We arrived at the hospital just after 5am; they checked me in, and Chrys and her assistant, Stephanie, met us there. They did a quick exam, and I found out I was 5cm and they were getting me a room!! Even though I knew it was real, I still imagined them saying, “Nope, no change, honey...go home”. The contractions started to intensify, but I was able to walk/breathe through them. I wanted to be in the tub again, but Chrys didn’t have any available, and our hospital doesn’t have birth tubs. They did have a shower, so I figured I’d try that. It was nice, but I wasn’t really comfortable sitting or standing through contractions anymore. Though I’ve heard and read that laboring in the bed is the most difficult, that’s the only place I wanted to be. I was sitting up in bed, and for each contraction, I would breathe loudly and slowly, either looking down or at Luis, and the doulas would rub my back or feet or hands. Everyone was encouraging me saying I can do this. I felt confident that I could. The contractions hurt like hell, but they were so different than the ones I had with Kadence. Normal contractions feel like you’re going up a mountain. There’s a beginning, a peak, and a downward slope. Pitocin contractions are more like slamming into a brick wall. The on call doctor checked me again at 7:30, I was 8cm! I couldn’t believe things were moving so fast. She alerted my doctor, who just got back in town that morning, thank God, and she was on her way. I was having really rough contractions, and Luis would just remind me that I was doing great and could do it, and Chrys was constantly reminding me to relax my shoulders, which helped so much. Your first instinct is to fight the contractions, and that makes them so much worse. It still hurts like crazy, but when you relax and embrace the pain, it’s more manageable.
The next hour or so was the worst. Transition. Yea, I hate that word now. I started being nearly unable to “embrace” the contractions. See that sentence above about relaxing and not fighting them, telling me that during transition would make me punch someone. I was squeezing Stephanie’s hand and pushing against the bed rail or Luis’ chest for each contraction, screaming things like, “This fucking hurts!!!” and “Why did I DO this?” I could not help but tense up, even though I knew it was the worst thing to do. Though, for one of these contractions, I was able to stay totally relaxed. I didn’t even open my eyes. It still hurt like a bitch, but it was more bearable than the ones I kind of fought. I imagined that’s how the hypnobirthing mom’s are throughout labor, and momentarily regretted not paying more attention to that book. At 8:30, my doctor arrives to check me out and I’m still 8cm. She says if she breaks my water, things should get moving pretty quickly. I agreed. Oh my God, it felt soooooooooooooooo good. I don’t know how to explain it, but the release of my water bag was relaxing in some way. Until the next contraction, that is. More screaming and cursing ensue. I’m feeling intense pressure during each contraction, almost like I want to push. I say this, loudly, over and over again…”I feel pressure!!! I want to push! GET MY DOCTOR!!” They have my doctor come back in, and she watches me through a few contractions. She said I was moving the baby down but not quite ready to push. After about 4 or 5 horrific contractions, she checks me again. I’m ready to go! On the next contraction, I push with everything I have. I scream SO loud. Thank God, I was the only one laboring at that time so I didn’t scare other moms. I think with the second push, the head was out…but then I had to wait. They had to remove the cord from around his neck. I cannot describe how weird it feels to have a person’s head sticking out of you. It was only a matter of seconds and I got to push again. I actually felt a shoulder come out, and that hurt so badly. Then, baby was here. On my 30th birthday and Mother’s Day, at 9:03am, just 33 minutes after the doc broke my water, my SON, Gavin Thomas entered the world weighing 7lbs9oz. I want to say “I immediately forgot about all the pain”, but that so wasn’t true. I was distracted looking at the beautiful baby, but I looked up to Luis and said, “Damn, that hurt.” After not being able to go completely med free with Kadence and having regrets, now that I had done it, it truly didn’t matter. I was only concerned with the fact that Gavin was here and healthy. And since I don’t exactly know how to wrap up this story, how about closing with a picture or two:
About 45 minutes after eating my third….or fourth cookie, I felt a real contraction. We just laughed it off claiming the labor cookies were working. Then, I had a couple more over the next hour. I knew they were different, but they were so far apart. I figured maybe the spicy cookies were upsetting my stomach or something. Around 11:30pm though, I started to wonder…could this be it? Luis’ “nesting” instinct kicked in and he started cleaning the house and getting everything ready to go. I hung out in denial for a little while longer, blogging and watching “Couples Retreat”. The contractions were definitely real, and coming about 20 minutes apart. I just couldn’t believe I was potentially going into labor. I told Luis we should sleep, just in case. Yea, that didn’t work out. Luis was too excited, and my contractions were coming closer to 10 minutes apart. They stayed that way for a while, I think. I was only occasionally timing them. I was starting to believe this could be it, but I was hesitant to call our sitter or doula, since I had already disrupted their lives for nothing earlier that week. At around 3:45am though, I told Luis, “This is real”. I called the doula, Chrys, and he called our babysitter. I told the doula I planned to head to the hospital around 6:00am. I didn’t know if it were too early, but I was already dilated 3cm and had read one too many “we JUST made it in time” stories. I figured I’d rather be at the hospital too soon than have the baby in the car. I asked Luis to start a bath for me so I could see if that would help with the contractions. Oh my goodness, did it ever! I had a couple contractions in the tub, and while I felt them of course, they were so much more bearable than the ones I had been having. It was so nice and relaxing to just sit there, too. After about 30 minutes, I was ready to get out though. From the time it took me to get out of the tub and towel off (less than 10 minutes), I had three contractions. Thankfully, our babysitter had arrived because I told Luis we were leaving now. We get down the street and I had him turn around because I forgot my makeup bag. Yup, I’m vain.
We arrived at the hospital just after 5am; they checked me in, and Chrys and her assistant, Stephanie, met us there. They did a quick exam, and I found out I was 5cm and they were getting me a room!! Even though I knew it was real, I still imagined them saying, “Nope, no change, honey...go home”. The contractions started to intensify, but I was able to walk/breathe through them. I wanted to be in the tub again, but Chrys didn’t have any available, and our hospital doesn’t have birth tubs. They did have a shower, so I figured I’d try that. It was nice, but I wasn’t really comfortable sitting or standing through contractions anymore. Though I’ve heard and read that laboring in the bed is the most difficult, that’s the only place I wanted to be. I was sitting up in bed, and for each contraction, I would breathe loudly and slowly, either looking down or at Luis, and the doulas would rub my back or feet or hands. Everyone was encouraging me saying I can do this. I felt confident that I could. The contractions hurt like hell, but they were so different than the ones I had with Kadence. Normal contractions feel like you’re going up a mountain. There’s a beginning, a peak, and a downward slope. Pitocin contractions are more like slamming into a brick wall. The on call doctor checked me again at 7:30, I was 8cm! I couldn’t believe things were moving so fast. She alerted my doctor, who just got back in town that morning, thank God, and she was on her way. I was having really rough contractions, and Luis would just remind me that I was doing great and could do it, and Chrys was constantly reminding me to relax my shoulders, which helped so much. Your first instinct is to fight the contractions, and that makes them so much worse. It still hurts like crazy, but when you relax and embrace the pain, it’s more manageable.
The next hour or so was the worst. Transition. Yea, I hate that word now. I started being nearly unable to “embrace” the contractions. See that sentence above about relaxing and not fighting them, telling me that during transition would make me punch someone. I was squeezing Stephanie’s hand and pushing against the bed rail or Luis’ chest for each contraction, screaming things like, “This fucking hurts!!!” and “Why did I DO this?” I could not help but tense up, even though I knew it was the worst thing to do. Though, for one of these contractions, I was able to stay totally relaxed. I didn’t even open my eyes. It still hurt like a bitch, but it was more bearable than the ones I kind of fought. I imagined that’s how the hypnobirthing mom’s are throughout labor, and momentarily regretted not paying more attention to that book. At 8:30, my doctor arrives to check me out and I’m still 8cm. She says if she breaks my water, things should get moving pretty quickly. I agreed. Oh my God, it felt soooooooooooooooo good. I don’t know how to explain it, but the release of my water bag was relaxing in some way. Until the next contraction, that is. More screaming and cursing ensue. I’m feeling intense pressure during each contraction, almost like I want to push. I say this, loudly, over and over again…”I feel pressure!!! I want to push! GET MY DOCTOR!!” They have my doctor come back in, and she watches me through a few contractions. She said I was moving the baby down but not quite ready to push. After about 4 or 5 horrific contractions, she checks me again. I’m ready to go! On the next contraction, I push with everything I have. I scream SO loud. Thank God, I was the only one laboring at that time so I didn’t scare other moms. I think with the second push, the head was out…but then I had to wait. They had to remove the cord from around his neck. I cannot describe how weird it feels to have a person’s head sticking out of you. It was only a matter of seconds and I got to push again. I actually felt a shoulder come out, and that hurt so badly. Then, baby was here. On my 30th birthday and Mother’s Day, at 9:03am, just 33 minutes after the doc broke my water, my SON, Gavin Thomas entered the world weighing 7lbs9oz. I want to say “I immediately forgot about all the pain”, but that so wasn’t true. I was distracted looking at the beautiful baby, but I looked up to Luis and said, “Damn, that hurt.” After not being able to go completely med free with Kadence and having regrets, now that I had done it, it truly didn’t matter. I was only concerned with the fact that Gavin was here and healthy. And since I don’t exactly know how to wrap up this story, how about closing with a picture or two:
Sunday, May 9, 2010
I don't want to be the girl who cried labor, but...
Either this is it or I'm cuh-razy. Since around 8:30pm, after my also very pregnant friend Ashley and I downed couple labor cookies I noticed a painful contraction...more painful than the ones in my previous entries. We laughed it off and joked about the labor cookies working. I had maybe 2 more over the next hour. I definitely noticed the severity of them, but they were very spaced out. Through the night (it's 2:15am now), I've had stronger ones, and I've began to lose my mucus plug (gross, I know). They are still sporadic and far apart, except the last two; those were only 10 minutes apart. I am so hesitant to say that this could be early labor, but these contractions are not messing around. I mean, I feel stupid thinking the other ones during my "false labors" were painful; these contractions kick those contractions asses!!
So, I know I should sleep, but I'm too excited/terrified to do so. Luis is cleaning up the kitchen. He wants to make sure everything is in order for the babysitter. I guess he got the nesting instinct, because I'm blogging and about to go finish watching couples retreat. OMG_---------contractionnnnnnnnn.........I cannot believe how much it hurts. Okay, that's 3 in a row, 10 minutes apart. Holy crap, this really could be it. I will update later.
So, I know I should sleep, but I'm too excited/terrified to do so. Luis is cleaning up the kitchen. He wants to make sure everything is in order for the babysitter. I guess he got the nesting instinct, because I'm blogging and about to go finish watching couples retreat. OMG_---------contractionnnnnnnnn.........I cannot believe how much it hurts. Okay, that's 3 in a row, 10 minutes apart. Holy crap, this really could be it. I will update later.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
False labor #2
Wow, seriously? Does this happen? Just over a week ago, I had false labor. For about 4 hours, I thought for sure I was in real labor, then it just stopped. At least I didn't call the doula and the sitter...that time. Last night, I started having regular contractions around 7:30. I didn't think anything at first, but then they kept coming and were stronger than before. I sat, walked, showered, drank water...nothing stopped them. So, we called the doula and the sitter. Our wonderful sitter had to arrange care for her grandson so she could come over, and I'm not sure if my phone call affected the doula's plans or not. I hope not. Anyway, the sitter arrived at 10:30ish, and we waited around to see if things would pick up..they didn't, but they didn't slow down either. Around 12:30am, I figured I should go get checked. I mean, being already 3cm dilated, who knew if this could turn from maybe to me pushing a baby out in the car in a matter of minutes, haha. I got hooked up to the monitors and they observed me and check me. No new progress, and wouldn't ya know, my contractions started to space out once we got there. Of course they did. I felt like a person who's car was acting up- when you bring it to the mechanic, it's fine. The docs did say I made the right decision, but who knows if they were just trying to make me feel like less of an ass. I mean, this is my second child. I've "been there done that". I should know better!!
Of course, I felt disappointed that we weren't going to meet our new baby last night, but I mostly felt bad for our sitter and doula. Man, when they say every pregnancy is different, "they" are right!! No false labor, no progress, and bam, Kadence is born. This time, false labor, dilating, more false labor, yet no baby. I hope he/she got the memo though- Luis is done with the semester and I'm just wrapping up the busy time at work. Soooooo, feel free to come and meet us any day now!! :)
Of course, I felt disappointed that we weren't going to meet our new baby last night, but I mostly felt bad for our sitter and doula. Man, when they say every pregnancy is different, "they" are right!! No false labor, no progress, and bam, Kadence is born. This time, false labor, dilating, more false labor, yet no baby. I hope he/she got the memo though- Luis is done with the semester and I'm just wrapping up the busy time at work. Soooooo, feel free to come and meet us any day now!! :)
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens...
These are a few of Kadence's favorite things:
Favorite Book: The Foot Book, by Dr. Seuss
Favorite Song: Boom Boom Pow by the Black Eyed Peas (seriously)
Favorite kiddie song: If you're happy and you know it. She says "Happy..yo-ee-yo"
Favorite Color: Pink. Well, I think it is..everytime we ask her what color something is, the response is always "PINK"
Favorite Toy: That's a toss up betweeen Bahbee (barbie), baby dolls, and tickle me elmo. She also loves her cozy coupe that she can "drive"...she actually now cries to drive OUR cars, lol.
Favorite Show: Dora. Hands down, it's the best thing EVER to her. Close runners up, Spongebob (bum-bon), and Phineas and Ferb.
Favorite activity: Playing outside- goodness, coming inside every evening is torture to her!
Favorite Friends: Jack (gaga) and Mattie (manny)
Favorite Bath Toy: The cup in which she fills with running water and drinks..again and again.
Favorite Veggie: Broccoli- she actually like most all veggies, which we are so grateful for
Favorite Food: Cheese
Favorite Dessert: Ice cream (ikeen)
And, that's all I can think of for now. I hope to remember to compile lists like this once a year or so, in order to keep track of all these changes. :)
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Eh, it was nothing
Maybe false labor, I don't know. Things seemed to pick up and we were toying with the idea that the baby would be making an appearance shortly, but then everything tapered off. Now, I'm sitting at work waiting to start our "End of Year" party, so at least I'm distracted. :)
I'm just thankful it stopped if I wasn't making progress. There's no way I could have walked around the next couple weeks with that pressure on my pelvis and the pain in my lower back. Nope. I would've gotten an epidural to get me through, haha.
I'm just thankful it stopped if I wasn't making progress. There's no way I could have walked around the next couple weeks with that pressure on my pelvis and the pain in my lower back. Nope. I would've gotten an epidural to get me through, haha.
Something is going on...
Is it labor? I'm truly not sure. With K, my first sign of labor was my water breaking, and I never really had contractions before the pitocin. So, I don't know what normal labor feels like. I've been unable to sleep since 5:30am, and I've had some contractions, nothing I even tried to time. What is getting me right now is this back pain- it's horrible. I was just on all fours and that seemed to help some. I want to wake Luis up to rub me, but if this is labor, I want him to be able to sleep before things get going. Who knows though- this could be just normal part of the end of pregnancy. I feel so much pressure on my bladder, my stomach has visibly dropped. Ugh, I wish I knew if this was going to amount to anything today or even tomorrow. I honestly have no idea how I'm going to make it through work today. Here's hoping that something starts or all this stops!! I'll update later.
Monday, April 26, 2010
Toddlereeze
I've always thought it adorable when toddlers make up words or use their limited reasoning skills to define things. For example, my neice used to call brocolli "trees", and a girl I used to babysit would call Ketchup "red mustard". Never until I had my own child though, did I realize the extent of Toddlereeze. Kadence is a very good communicator. She says tons of words spot on and in context- really, too many to list. I will say that she can use "yea" and "okay" interchangably, as well as Hi, Hello, and Hola. There are a few words that just shock me. I realize now that she makes up her own words or pronounces things incorrectly because she has not yet learned to say the Sssss or Fffff sound. In my head, that would mean instead of cereal, she should say "tereal" or something like that. Nope, she says "Goo-la". She knows what it is, she recognizes it, but to her, it is goo-la. Same goes for shower. I'd guess "bower" or something. Her word: Lapole. It's funny too, the way she says it sounds like a Spanish word or something, but I asked Luis, it's not. She does just leave off the "s" for a few things..like "please" is "pea". It's truly amazing to watch someone learn to speak, and learn to have little conversations even. I'm so blessed to be her mommy- even if she is forcing me to learn a new language! :)
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Dear Kadence,
With your baby brother or sister's arrival coming up soon, I wanted to take a moment to write you. I am so concerned with how you will respond to another person living in our house. I know no matter what, you will love your brother or sister. I know you will be a fantastic role model and source of guidance for him/her growing up. I trust that you guys will be close friends and be able to lean on each other and have fun together. It's the immediate reaction that has me worried. I don't want you to feel put out. I don't want you to feel resentment toward me, Daddy, or the baby. I am praying and planning as best I can, but truth be told, I don't know how things will change. Our goal is to do our best to give you as much attention as we can, and spend one on one time with you when possible. Right now, you sleep in our bed part of the night, and we wouldn't have it any other way. However, you normally sleep between us, but for safety reasons, we have to put the baby between us when he/she is born. Daddy has moved you over to his side between him and the wall, so you can adjust to that before the baby comes. You were fine with it, then I missed you so you spend a few more nights between us. Last night, we put you only by daddy. In the middle of the night, you started crying for me, and you waved to me. It was so touching, yet heartbreaking at the same time. The funny part is you normally want Daddy in the middle of the night if you wake up. Why did you want me all of a sudden, I wonder. Could you have some sense that things are changing? I have no idea.
K, you are the sweetest little girl. You wave and blow kisses to most everyone, you share your toys (most of the time), you are always happy. You even get upset when I go to the doctor and she examines my belly...you don't mind too much when the doctors check you out, but when it's me, you get concerned. It's so sweet! Also, you rock and swing your babies, you pat their backs, you are just so gentle and loving. I hope and pray that carries over quickly to your sibling.
We love you so much. We are happy to be expanding your role in life. Currently, you are a daughter. Soon, you'll be a sister as well. I hope you love being a sister!! Thank you for being our first born child.
Love Always,
Mommy
K, you are the sweetest little girl. You wave and blow kisses to most everyone, you share your toys (most of the time), you are always happy. You even get upset when I go to the doctor and she examines my belly...you don't mind too much when the doctors check you out, but when it's me, you get concerned. It's so sweet! Also, you rock and swing your babies, you pat their backs, you are just so gentle and loving. I hope and pray that carries over quickly to your sibling.
We love you so much. We are happy to be expanding your role in life. Currently, you are a daughter. Soon, you'll be a sister as well. I hope you love being a sister!! Thank you for being our first born child.
Love Always,
Mommy
Friday, April 2, 2010
A year and a half!
Already? One year and six months have gone by? Tomorrow Kadence will be closer to 2 than she is to 1? This can't be true! I didn't realize how much I was in denial about this until tonight at walmart. I was looking for socks for her, and they only had ugly colored 18-36 month ones, so I thought I could get her the 12-18 month ones, you know, since she's just now 18 months...yea, they looked way too small. It just hit me, she's really not a "baby" anymore. Every day she can communicate more and more with us. She's starting to really protest when she has to do something she doesn't want to or can't do something she does want to do. It's crazy how fast time has gone by. And can I say, I love her more and more with each day that goes by. I mean, I thought I loved her as much as anyone could love anything when she was first born, but really, my love for her just grows and grows. I'm sitting here with happy tears as I read over the title of this post...in my head, I replaced "a year and a half" with 18 years, because I know that's coming. It will be like the blink of an eye, she'll be a beautiful, wise, compassionate, God fearing woman, and if I still know how to use a computer (because, you know, old people don't, hehe), I'll be writing about how I remember when she would "wing" her baby dolls outside in the swing. Eeek...gotta stop the tears, we have family pictures tomorrow!!!
Saturday, March 13, 2010
I'm in my 3rd trimester, and I can't sleep
Not sure if one has anything to do with the other..the title is just sort of what's going on at the moment, haha. It's 3:30am. I've been up since 2. Between Luis snoring, K waking up saying "Gaga" (her friend, Jack), "DaddyBOLLL" (we think that translates to Daddy is at school), I just couldn't stay asleep. I thought I'd get up and play on the interwebz for a bit then fall back asleep. Only now, I'm even more awake. Dang, and I really want to get up early tomorrow and head to chick fil a for breakfast. Our first freestanding one just opened, and I'm craving their yummy breakfast!
Anyway, here I am in the home stretch of this pregnancy. I'm so thankful for this baby. Lately, I've been able to really enjoy being pregnant. I didn't hate it or anything, but before, I just felt indifferent to the pregnancy itself- not the baby. I realized though, unless God changes us, this will be my last time being pregnant. I want to enjoy it more, soak it in, remember it, and thankfully, I've been able to do just that. I'm still a tad obsessed with med free birth, but I have it under control now, hehe. I was looking back at my old posts and came across one that said "I'm almost 3 months along"; it seems like that was yesterday, and now I'm 7 months! If I go to my due date, I have about 9 weeks left. Nine weeks before we meet him or her; Nine weeks before our precious Kadence becomes a big sister; Nine weeks before our family is made complete. On one hand, I cannot wait, but on the other, I feel some fear about this- how will Kadence react? How will this baby change our family? What will we do if we're all sick? Will childcare work out the way we hope and pray this fall? I could go on and on, but I'd rather just continue to trust God in his perfect plan and timing. I know this will all work out and we will be overjoyed to welcome baby brother or sister. :)
Anyway, here I am in the home stretch of this pregnancy. I'm so thankful for this baby. Lately, I've been able to really enjoy being pregnant. I didn't hate it or anything, but before, I just felt indifferent to the pregnancy itself- not the baby. I realized though, unless God changes us, this will be my last time being pregnant. I want to enjoy it more, soak it in, remember it, and thankfully, I've been able to do just that. I'm still a tad obsessed with med free birth, but I have it under control now, hehe. I was looking back at my old posts and came across one that said "I'm almost 3 months along"; it seems like that was yesterday, and now I'm 7 months! If I go to my due date, I have about 9 weeks left. Nine weeks before we meet him or her; Nine weeks before our precious Kadence becomes a big sister; Nine weeks before our family is made complete. On one hand, I cannot wait, but on the other, I feel some fear about this- how will Kadence react? How will this baby change our family? What will we do if we're all sick? Will childcare work out the way we hope and pray this fall? I could go on and on, but I'd rather just continue to trust God in his perfect plan and timing. I know this will all work out and we will be overjoyed to welcome baby brother or sister. :)
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Sad post
About 8 years ago, my step cousin buried her 2 year old daughter who had been hit by a car.
Last fall, a girl on a mommy message board I frequent lost her precious 15 month old son.
On February 8, 2010, a family mourned the loss of their 2 year old little girl, Layla Grace, after a long battle with Neuroblastoma.
Today, I read about an online friend who will likely lose her son, who is still in her womb, just 22 weeks old.
Every day, I am thankful for my family, but when I see and hear of things like this, I hug them a little tighter, I thank God a little longer, and I am reminded how precious this life is and how quickly things can change. My heart is aching for those who lose their children. My prayers are with those who have had to bury their babies. Tonight, I sit hear heavy hearted wondering why. With everything in me, I believe in God. I believe He loves us and has good plans for us. I cannot fathom why he allows these things. When I hear of these tragedies, I want to plug my ears and pretend everything is fine. It's been too much lately though, and I can't ignore it. I cannot ignore the fact that horrible things happen to people every day. I ask God why, but I have no answer. I'm not sure anyone does this side of eternity. I can rest somewhat knowing that these children are safe in the arms of my Heavenly Father, but how much comfort would that actually bring me if it were my child?
I have no point to this. I just needed somewhere to "put" my feelings. Hug your loved ones extra tight today...remember what a gift life is.
Last fall, a girl on a mommy message board I frequent lost her precious 15 month old son.
On February 8, 2010, a family mourned the loss of their 2 year old little girl, Layla Grace, after a long battle with Neuroblastoma.
Today, I read about an online friend who will likely lose her son, who is still in her womb, just 22 weeks old.
Every day, I am thankful for my family, but when I see and hear of things like this, I hug them a little tighter, I thank God a little longer, and I am reminded how precious this life is and how quickly things can change. My heart is aching for those who lose their children. My prayers are with those who have had to bury their babies. Tonight, I sit hear heavy hearted wondering why. With everything in me, I believe in God. I believe He loves us and has good plans for us. I cannot fathom why he allows these things. When I hear of these tragedies, I want to plug my ears and pretend everything is fine. It's been too much lately though, and I can't ignore it. I cannot ignore the fact that horrible things happen to people every day. I ask God why, but I have no answer. I'm not sure anyone does this side of eternity. I can rest somewhat knowing that these children are safe in the arms of my Heavenly Father, but how much comfort would that actually bring me if it were my child?
I have no point to this. I just needed somewhere to "put" my feelings. Hug your loved ones extra tight today...remember what a gift life is.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
A not so quick recap
Wow...it's been forEVER since I've written. Whenever I feel motivated to write, I can't find the time, and when I have the time, I have nothing to say. So, I'll try to give a quick recap of the past couple months of our lives:
- Christmas was great. We didn't do adult gifts, only kids. I like it better that way. Kadence got a lot of great things, but thankfully, not too much considering the size of our house and our new addition due in May.
- Speaking of, we had our "big" ultrasound a few days after Christmas and were able to hold out and stay on team green. We also learned that everything looks perfect with this little baby. If you want to take a guess as to when the baby will be born and what the gender is, go to http://www.expectnet.com/ and type in "gameforbaby2" as the game title. The winner will receive a big fat congrats AND bragging rights. :)
- New Year's was awesome! Some family came in from Texas, and Kadence loved loved loved the fireworks. I thought for sure they would scare her, but no, she was thrilled to see all the lights in the sky. She even made it all the way to midnight...and then some, haha.
- Luis turned 29 on January 11. We met up for dinner with family. We all chipped in and got him an ipod touch. He's nice and cracked out on it now, which is good because he doesn't give me as much crap for being online!
- In early Februrary, our little Kadence grew up. She finally stopped taking a bottle. She was down to one a day for quite a while, and one evening, we replaced it with a cup. She didn't care and doesn't miss her bottles. They were just a means to an end for her. She's still taking her pacifier, and judge me all you want, I'm in no rush to take it from her. It's comforting to her, and with the new baby coming, I want her to have a comfort measure for herself. So, I'll likely be that mom with a 2+ year old who still takes a paci. Oh, well. At least she only has it for naps and bedtime.
- THE SAINTS WON THE SUPERBOWL!! We taught Kadence to say "Who Dat!", but she says it like a question..."Who da?"...too cute!
- We got and spent most all of our tax return already. Normally, we save any extra money we get or pay off bills...not so much this time. We got things we needed: a bed, photography equipment, a toddler bed for Kadence, a bunch of random stuff for her and the new baby, oh yes, and a beautiful new wedding set for Myndee!! Okay, we didn't need all of that, but it's nice to have, and we still were able to save some money. Were we totally responsible? No. Did we have tons of fun? YES!!
- I switched to a new OB in the same practice. I liked my other OB, but the more I talked to her about med free, little to no intervention childbirth, the more she seemed to dig her heels in. I'm not sure why, but for some reason, I got the impression that she didn't want me to go without meds...which is very strange considering she gave birth 4 or 5 times without an epidural. Ah, well. My new doctor is a perfect fit for me! I really cannot say enough good things about her.
- Just the other day, Kadence had her very first stomach virus. Poor baby. It only lasted about a day, and she was a trooper. Then, it was my turn. Horrible. I think I lost weight from throwing up so much. I actually had to go to the hospital to be treated for dehydration- apparently, that can cause pre-term labor, so it's a good thing I went in. I'm fine now, and thank God, Luis didn't catch it.
And breathe. That's about all for now. I'll try harder to keep up with this. I want to look back on this stuff one day and remember all these things and feelings I share on here. Actually, I think I read somewhere that you can turn your blog into a book...maybe I'll do that.
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