Saturday, March 13, 2010

I'm in my 3rd trimester, and I can't sleep

Not sure if one has anything to do with the other..the title is just sort of what's going on at the moment, haha. It's 3:30am. I've been up since 2. Between Luis snoring, K waking up saying "Gaga" (her friend, Jack), "DaddyBOLLL" (we think that translates to Daddy is at school), I just couldn't stay asleep. I thought I'd get up and play on the interwebz for a bit then fall back asleep. Only now, I'm even more awake. Dang, and I really want to get up early tomorrow and head to chick fil a for breakfast. Our first freestanding one just opened, and I'm craving their yummy breakfast!
Anyway, here I am in the home stretch of this pregnancy. I'm so thankful for this baby. Lately, I've been able to really enjoy being pregnant. I didn't hate it or anything, but before, I just felt indifferent to the pregnancy itself- not the baby. I realized though, unless God changes us, this will be my last time being pregnant. I want to enjoy it more, soak it in, remember it, and thankfully, I've been able to do just that. I'm still a tad obsessed with med free birth, but I have it under control now, hehe. I was looking back at my old posts and came across one that said "I'm almost 3 months along"; it seems like that was yesterday, and now I'm 7 months! If I go to my due date, I have about 9 weeks left. Nine weeks before we meet him or her; Nine weeks before our precious Kadence becomes a big sister; Nine weeks before our family is made complete. On one hand, I cannot wait, but on the other, I feel some fear about this- how will Kadence react? How will this baby change our family? What will we do if we're all sick? Will childcare work out the way we hope and pray this fall? I could go on and on, but I'd rather just continue to trust God in his perfect plan and timing. I know this will all work out and we will be overjoyed to welcome baby brother or sister. :)

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Sad post

About 8 years ago, my step cousin buried her 2 year old daughter who had been hit by a car.
Last fall, a girl on a mommy message board I frequent lost her precious 15 month old son.
On February 8, 2010, a family mourned the loss of their 2 year old little girl, Layla Grace, after a long battle with Neuroblastoma.
Today, I read about an online friend who will likely lose her son, who is still in her womb, just 22 weeks old.

Every day, I am thankful for my family, but when I see and hear of things like this, I hug them a little tighter, I thank God a little longer, and I am reminded how precious this life is and how quickly things can change. My heart is aching for those who lose their children. My prayers are with those who have had to bury their babies. Tonight, I sit hear heavy hearted wondering why. With everything in me, I believe in God. I believe He loves us and has good plans for us. I cannot fathom why he allows these things. When I hear of these tragedies, I want to plug my ears and pretend everything is fine. It's been too much lately though, and I can't ignore it. I cannot ignore the fact that horrible things happen to people every day. I ask God why, but I have no answer. I'm not sure anyone does this side of eternity. I can rest somewhat knowing that these children are safe in the arms of my Heavenly Father, but how much comfort would that actually bring me if it were my child?

I have no point to this. I just needed somewhere to "put" my feelings. Hug your loved ones extra tight today...remember what a gift life is.