Big Sister

My baby is going to be a big sister!! In May of 2010, we will welcome our newest, and most likely final addition to our family. To quote Jesse Spano, I'm so excited...I'm so excited...I'm so...scared!! If you get that, you're old like me. :)

We found out in September, but due to previous losses, we wanted to make sure all was well before we shared the news. However, after our first doctor's appointment, all wasn't well. According to my calculations, I should've been 6 weeks, 4 days, but according to the ultrasound, I was only 5 weeks. If you've had kids, you know that over a week is a big difference. Due to that, and the fact that I've already had miscarriages, I figured this was another one. I was so sad. Begrudgingly, I continued to take my prenatal vitamins and act as though I was pregnant (no drinking or drugs, haha). After the longest week and a half of my life, I had my follow up ultrasound. I couldn't even look at the screen. I knew she'd say, "I'm sorry...", but thank God, I was wrong. She said the most beautiful words I'd ever heard- "There's the heartbeat!" I couldn't believe it. Tears of joy filled my eyes and it hit me- I'm going to be a mother of TWO. How am I going to do this?! Thankfully, my husband Luis, is fantastic. He's such a great dad now, and I know we're going to be able to handle being a family of four. :)

This time is very different- I'm hardly sick. Actually, I've only thrown up three times; with Kadence, it was more like three times a day. I don't know if it's because we waited so long to announce it or what, but it's going by much faster as well. I'm already almost 3 months along. Unfortunately, I don't feel as excited or attached as I should just yet- probably just a defense mechanism I've created due to my history. I do love this baby and I can't wait to meet him/her.